2018 Redy

Self-esteem and self-love: I used to think these concepts were synonymous. If there's any lesson 2017 taught me, it's that there is actually a glaring difference between the two that people rarely notice. Late last year I was driving in bumper to bumper after a long, awful day. During the car ride I listened to a video about how having self-esteem can sabotage our potential. The message hit me like a ton of bricks, smacking my emotional baggage out of my hands. Here I was, having my own pity party without taking any responsibility for what happened that day. Why? Because the idea of always having a favorable impression of myself, aka high self-esteem, blinded me from my shortcomings that worsened an already not-so-great situation. On the other extreme, there have been times where defaulting on a negative view of myself has hindered me from taking risks vital to my personal growth. Considering the devastation I've previously experienced by reverting to both ends of the self-esteem spectrum, it was that day I decided to try operating outside of it. From now on I'm trying to neutralize my overall self-image and focus on my actions and reactions rather than possessing an automatic, unchanging admiration or disdain for myself. Acting like a decent person earns me the confidence to say I'm a decent person in that instance. If I fail to act decently then I don't earn that confidence. As simple as it seems, some might question where self love fits in this equation. For me, self-love isn't believing I'm amazing *regardless* of what I do; It's the motivation to become amazing *because* of what I do. For example, if someone I care about harms themselves or others my impression of them in that scenario may not be favorable. However, my love for that person is what will drive me to help them help themselves. Basically, I'm trying my best to extend this rule to myself and become my own voice of reason. Now that we're onto week two of 2018, I'm continuing my resolution of ridding myself of any self-esteem, high or low, while remembering treat myself with love (and by love I actually mean binge watching sessions of The Office). 2018: I'm red-y for you. ❤️

Red Turtleneck Crop Tank- Thrifted
Velvet Crop Tank- Topshop
Velvet Circle Skirt- Resale
Patent Faux Leather Boots- Flashbacks
Red Beret-Resale
Hue Red Tights- Macys
Black + Gold Belt-Resale (Ritzy Ragz)
All Jewelry- Flea Market/ Resale


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