Tuesday, January 9, 2018

2018 Redy

Self-esteem and self-love: I used to think these concepts were synonymous. If there's any lesson 2017 taught me, it's that there is actually a glaring difference between the two that people rarely notice. Late last year I was driving in bumper to bumper after a long, awful day. During the car ride I listened to a video about how having self-esteem can sabotage our potential. The message hit me like a ton of bricks, smacking my emotional baggage out of my hands. Here I was, having my own pity party without taking any responsibility for what happened that day. Why? Because the idea of always having a favorable impression of myself, aka high self-esteem, blinded me from my shortcomings that worsened an already not-so-great situation. On the other extreme, there have been times where defaulting on a negative view of myself has hindered me from taking risks vital to my personal growth. Considering the devastation I've previously experienced by reverting to both ends of the self-esteem spectrum, it was that day I decided to try operating outside of it. From now on I'm trying to neutralize my overall self-image and focus on my actions and reactions rather than possessing an automatic, unchanging admiration or disdain for myself. Acting like a decent person earns me the confidence to say I'm a decent person in that instance. If I fail to act decently then I don't earn that confidence. As simple as it seems, some might question where self love fits in this equation. For me, self-love isn't believing I'm amazing *regardless* of what I do; It's the motivation to become amazing *because* of what I do. For example, if someone I care about harms themselves or others my impression of them in that scenario may not be favorable. However, my love for that person is what will drive me to help them help themselves. Basically, I'm trying my best to extend this rule to myself and become my own voice of reason. Now that we're onto week two of 2018, I'm continuing my resolution of ridding myself of any self-esteem, high or low, while remembering treat myself with love (and by love I actually mean binge watching sessions of The Office). 2018: I'm red-y for you. ❤️


Red Turtleneck Crop Tank- Thrifted
Velvet Crop Tank- Topshop
Velvet Circle Skirt- Resale
Patent Faux Leather Boots- Flashbacks
Red Beret-Resale
Hue Red Tights- Macys
Black + Gold Belt-Resale (Ritzy Ragz)
All Jewelry- Flea Market/ Resale

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Eighth Avenue

Out to afternoon tea in this festive number. I almost forgot the joy of drinking tea for leisure rather than as a motivation for school work or to overcome a stubborn cold. What lifts my spirits even higher is using this opportunity to wear pretty tiny stilts a.k.a heels. Back in high school I used to scurry from class to class in pumps on a weekly basis. Five years later and I can't tell if I've become way less coordinated or if I'm more self-aware about my clumsiness (probably both). Strutting the streets in heels still makes me feel powerful even if I look like an awkward baby giraffe while doing it. Nonethless, I'm still going to keep channeling my inner Hilary Banks with the power of these classic pumps, this hat, and this Moschino blazer-esque blouse (even if I don't have daddy's money freely at my disposal). Happy holidaze y'all! 
❄️💋
Moschino Embellished Blouse- Resale
7 For All Mankind Jeans- Resale (Ritzy Ragz)
Nine West Pumps- Resale
Silver Boho Necklace- Lucky Brand
Hat- Resale
Pom-pom Hoops- Flashbacks
All Other Jewelry- Flea Market

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Somewhere Somehow

Half of the time my outfit inspirations seem to hide underneath all of the random thoughts rattling in my brain. A few days after throwing this number together for an annual holiday work party, I was at home browsing through the "Your Top Songs 2017" playlist Spotify curates based on your most listened to songs of the year. One song on the list was Oddnesse's "Somewhere Somehow." Forgetting how much I enjoyed that tune I decided to revisit the music video. I initially remembered it being simple in concept yet so mesmerizing and fitting for the song. Apart from being transfixed on the circular panning from shot to shot, I noticed another detail I found interesting while watching the video again: how similar my black turtleneck/ high rise jeans/ statement necklace combo was to her's. Even our hair styles bear resemble (but mine is the less voluminous, more dull version). Although my intention wasn't to create an ensemble based on the video, it's as if myself subconscious decided to anyway. I guess style influences always end up rising to the surface from somewhere, somehow. 
Tiger Embellished Jacket- Free People
Black Turtleneck- Free People
High Rise Ripped Jeans- Savers
Patent Faux Leather Boots- Flashbacks
Belt- Goodwill
All Jewelry- Flea Market
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